The Curse of Being a Jane Austen Fan

Last night I had the pleasure of hanging out with one of my favorite people and her adorable kids...I mean that when I say it too. Since her husband was out of town on business we decided to have a Jane Austen movie night. What better way to spend some quality time with one of your best gal pals? We decided to watch Persuasion, since I hadn't seen it yet or so I thought. It all sounds innocent enough until you actually put the movie on and start watching it. This is where the brainwashing begins. Then to compound matters we decided to watch Becoming Jane after Persuasion, yet another poor decision by two sappy girls.

Why pray tell is it such a terrible thing to be a Jane Austen fan? To read her timeless books? To watch her timeless classics brought to life through the eyes of BBC's finest directors? I'll tell you why!! Because it completely distorts the reality of love and all that it is and has to offer. Ms. Austen sucks you into a world where girls with unfortunate circumstances end up Mistress' of grand manors and capture the heart of rich debonair bachelors. Oh yes, in Ms. Austen's book there is always a happy ending...always.

But in life this is not the case. There is no rich debonair bachelor awaiting my arrival; who secretly longs to banter back and forth with me so he can showcase his quick wit and sly humor. Thus presenting me the perfect opportunity to show-off my elevated intellect and sharp quips. In fact, I don't know many men who can keep up with me...ha! Well, perhaps there are few but they are an anomaly rather than the norm in my world.

Oh, Jane, you have ruined me for love. I seek after a man with passion, not only for myself, but for life in general. A man that loves deeply with his entire heart, soul and mind. These are the characteristics of the men she created. These men didn't run from their feelings, though they fought them and tried fervently to suppress them in the end they surrendered and submitted to their burning love for their leading ladies. Oh, yes, Jane you have really done me in when it comes to love.

And last night was no exception to the curse of being a Jane Austen fan. Especially when we started watching Becoming Jane. That movie had me crying and blowing my nose all at the same time. All I could do was ask myself, "Why in the hell did you choose to torture yourself with this movie"? My friend should have intervened and advised me to choose another film because I was so emotional in the first movie. But who could have foretold that my emotions were going to run rampant on me during the second film. I suppose watching that movie caused me to reflect on my own love life and made me somewhat sad. It made me long to have a love like the ones Ms. Austen writes about so beautifully in all her books. But within that statement lies the truth of it all. Jane Austen wrote about it, she didn't necessarily experience love. Perhaps she was as I am, hoping to find something of a similar resemblance to the love she wrote about in her novels. The difference is that Ms. Austen never found the love she imagined but I am determined to uncover Love's whereabouts and claim it for myself.

Perhaps the love I discover will not be wealthy or breathtakingly beautiful but he will be mine and that is all that matters. Because I will love him and he will love me and just as all Jane Austen novels end; mine too will have a happy ending. A wedding in the House of the Lord for all time and eternity.

So perhaps being a fan of Jane Austen isn't a curse after all; she just reminds me that love is out there, I just need to open my eyes and my heart to find it.