Alrighty, so I was reading over the comments on my last post and I got the impression that some of you thought I was a sappy idealist who was a firm believer in the Beatles mantra, "love is all you need". Well, I need to make it clear that I am not that and if any of you out there know me, you should know this. Love for me, has happened a few times in my life and as of recently I've almost given up on it...but I heard this song and it struck a chord, no pun intended.
Trust me when I say, I know marriage is hard. Sure, it's not from first hand experience but I have seen plenty of couples struggle. Whether it be friends or family, I get that marriage is hard. In fact marriage scares the hell out of me. To commit yourself to another for time and all eternity...that's major! And then to bring children into the mix, whoa...that's way major! But see, that's how I've been viewing marriage as of lately. Major and hard. And where does love play into all of this, hmm...it seems only in the initiation of the practice of marriage. Right?!
Wrong! I know this but sometimes I get bogged down with the negative as opposed to the positive. Love is the positive and I know it can be carried beyond the initiation point of marriage but there are so many examples out there that are completely supportive of my views. And so, to hear such a sweet ballad that praises love for the beauty and strength that holds two people together was enlightening. Cheesy? Yes.
But despite everything, love really does play a huge role in keeping souls connected. No, it's not everything but it definitely helps when your spouse is lazy and won't change your kids diaper. Or when you don't have enough money to make ends meet because your spouse won't grow up and get a decent job. Or when the kids seem to consume every second of your lives and you don't remember why you got married in the first place. Yeah, I think love definitely plays a role but it's not everything. Communication, compromising, empathy, teamwork, faith, understanding, ect...ect. But lets be honest all of these practices or attributes stem from one thing, love. Love enables you to be understanding when your spouse forgets your birthday or anniversary. Love enables you to be okay with all their idiosyncrasies, in fact it might make you love them more for those annoying habits. Love is powerful...it's why our Saviour was willing to atone for our sins and shortcomings and it's why our Father in Heaven was willing to let Him. Love. It's not everything but it sure does make a difference.
And so, because I have plenty of examples in my life that prove that love works and does go beyond the initiation stages of marriage, I have hope that I will find love. Then I can prove to myself and to others what I think is true: love enables you to do a lot of things you didn't think you could, both good and bad. Hopefully, I'll only do good. ;)
I guess what I'm trying to say is, love is hard...to find...to keep...to do. But when you find it and you have it, be grateful because not everyone out there does. And for those who have hope of finding it, don't burst their bubble...I'm sure they're very aware of the realities of it. Nothing in this life that is worth something comes easily, nor stays easily. So, I'll keep my heart door open and continue doing what I can to attain the precious gift of love...and hope for love.
7 comments:
In no way have I ever thought you to be a sappy idealist with regards to love.
In fact from knowing you in real life and reading what you've written here, I have no doubt that you've got a healthy understanding of what makes a good marriage.
True,love itself doesn't pay the bills, but love motivates a good spouse to work hard to provide for their loved one. Love doesn't change the diaper, but it inspires unselfishness and understanding for the tired/exhausted/frustrated partner to pick up the slack...
When both people in a marriage(specifically with children)are busy and tired, it's honestly easy to forget these things.
That's why I need things like your poem, that awesome song, and other inspirational works to remind me that I need to overcome the sleep deprivation/selfishness, etc. and make sure to communicate my love to my husband.
Thank you for keeping it real and being such an open person. I have always admired that.
:)
Thanks Crys...I hope that my blog didn't come off rude, I just felt that some people had a different impression than what I intended to share with that one blog. I struggle with hope sometimes, especially when it comes to finding love and it was nice to know that it still lives inside of me, it just was on a mini-holiday...LOL!
I had a really long comment but not sure if it was making sense plus it felt to H.O.E. maybe you should come post there :) I just wanted you to know I love you and I think you are great!
amen sista! i'm learning that love really is all you need. not love as the world sees it, but true, pure love . . . i.e. charity. it's the true motivation behind what crystal was saying and brings peace in any situation. i recently read "the peacegiver" and in more words than i can leave here it enlightened my understanding of the Atonement and how it affects all relationships, particularly those of the family.
it's hard and good to have hope these days. keep it up! :) i will definitely keep you in my prayers. they've been so selfish lately i need to draw the focus elsewhere.
Thanks alisa, I'm sure your prayers aren't as selfish as you think :) And I have that book too and enjoyed it immensly.
And perhaps you're right M, I should post this on HOE...maybe I'll just copy and paste...if I can do that. hahaha
Not to H.O.E. at all...was that Alisa from school? Does she have a blog? yay! Reunions all over the place!
Yeah that is Alisa "Pissa" Izu-Lujan...I think that's her new last name...but yeah...alane's older sis
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