1. I'm continually trying to figure out what I need to do to be dateable, approachable, likable, etc.
2. I need realign some of my priorities and get back on a spiritual track, which means I need to go to my bishop and be like-I need a calling-ASAP!
3. Get my freakin' temple recommend renewed and start attending on a more regular basis
4. Be happy with me...physically, mentally, emotionally, physically...haha...I said that already.
5. Reattain my mojo...I had it once upon a time and then let my heart be crushed too many times and have since lost it...I really need some...anyone know where I can pick up a can of mojo?
6. Be open-to people, to the Spirit, to life, to experiences, to guys...just be more open and vulnerable...which I don't do very well I might add. I'm a total control freak and like to think of myself as independent and there lies the problem. Which is rather humorous because I really don't want to be alone for the remainder of my life, I just fear I will be.
I'm not sure what's going on with my head tonight or perhaps today but I've been thinking a lot, not to mention I worked out at 9PM and really should not have done that because I'm still high off adrenaline...hahaha. Although it could be a combination of me working out and the weather...rainy days always seems to make me contemplative. Hmmm...deep thoughts or perhaps they are shallow thoughts and I simply think they're deep because I'm tired and not really computing all that I'm typing right now. Ha! You know I do attempt to go about life cavalierly and yet I do care, I really care. I care about relationships and what people think of me and what guys think of me and why guys don't ask me out or take an interest in me...I care about all that, though for some reason (pride probably) I try to convince myself and others I don't care but I do. I do. I guess I figure if I just avoid allowing myself to actually feel certain things they'll simply dissipate and I'll no longer have to feel them, but the thing is they don't. They stay there...lingering in the back of my heart, occasionally peaking their head out to remind me they're there waiting for me to admit it. I guess you could call these feelings my "dirty little secrets", though they aren't dirty...they more like my "vulnerable little secrets"...hmm...I think I'm babbling, which would make sense since I'm actually very tired and should be asleep. Yeah...I'm going to end this now before I write a novel. Ha...perhaps it's too late for that...but at least before I write a trilogy.
1 comment:
So, it's late over here and the rush and craziness of the day is over and as I read your post it feels as if we're having an "end of the day roommate chat" like old times.
As for your list,thankfully they are all so interconnected that working on one thing will help you with another on the list.
Unfortunately all these things require constant maintenance, which doesn't make it any easier, I guess. It would be nice to "lock in" our mojo, lol.
You have always impressed me with your ability to sense the needs of others. Your intuition is amazing. Don't let bad experiences with regards to your heart and feelings interfere with your gift. When we cut off our feelings, we cut off that very channel that will allow us to hear that still small voice.
I really think taking care of #4 will automatically take care of #5 and #1 on your list. Your brain obviously has no idea how hot you are and you need to kick it in gear.
:)
This is so fragmanted. hope my comment makes sense. lol love you
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